I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
