you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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