Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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