i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
