On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
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