I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
