so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
