not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You are a genius and a whore.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
