I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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