I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
