I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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