And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
50% drunk capacity currently
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Randomize
