I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
