i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
third nipple confirmed
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Randomize
