HIV tests are more positive than that guy
im drinking this country out of the recession.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
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