My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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