do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
