You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize