He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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