i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You made out with two different species that night
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
