so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Randomize
