Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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