Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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