what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
