Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
