Say something about gay babies.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
