Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
