All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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