Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
