Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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