Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
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