Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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