Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize