my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
