my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize