Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
