Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
