why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
