I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
