I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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