I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
