I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
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