Yo dont text me then not text me
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
