whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
