it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
