i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
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