I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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