I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
