My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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