i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
