Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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