Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
