Do vagina's smell?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
