You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
