I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
