he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
pop tarts are not kleenex
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
