she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
