dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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