whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
the raccoons are back...
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