I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize